“Bro, bro, bro, it’s gonna work out so perfect.” Survivor Worlds Apart 3/25/15 recap

25 Mar

Rodney tells us that he can’t connect with “a bible bumper from Texas” (Mike) or “a hick from Maine” (Dan), but he can with Joaquin, whose Long Island roots appeal to the Bostonian. “We work hahhd, we party hahhda,” Rodney says.

The reward challenge is not a new one (using elastic slingshots to hit targets) but it’s fairly stirring because Red is able to pull out a victory. Since every single athletic person is on Blue, it’s a big deal.

So the Red team gets to watch sea turtles lay their eggs. Meanwhile the other tribe is strategizing. Joaquin says Joe needs to be taken out, and Joaq does have some numbers since he is tight with Tyler and now Rodney too.

How do we know it won’t work? Well, any time on Survivor we are shown someone telling the camera words to the effect of “I’m in total control of this game,” we know that person will either be voted out that episode, or at the very least will experience a setback. Sure enough, Rodney boasts “I got so many numbers, it’s not even funny.”

The other thing you should never do (besides boasting in this fashion) is that you should never throw a challenge, because this backfires every single time. But Rodney wants to do exactly that, to send Joe home even quicker. Mike is on board with it, even though he knows this hasn’t turned out well in the past. Mike’s thinking is: his own number one ally in the game is Kelly, who is on the other tribe with nobody else from the old Blue Collar group over there to help her. So she is presumably in danger of being voted out if Blue loses.

The immunity challenge is a memory game. These are usually quite boring but this time it’s one person from each tribe facing off, and when one person thinks he has a sequence of objects memorized, he can lower a curtain that blocks the objects from both players. Then both have to try to reconstruct the sequence at a table about ten yards away.

After a few rounds the teams are tied (thanks to Rodney who of course was failing on purpose). It comes down to Mike and Kelly, the two allies. They race to the table and neither gets it right (though of course Mike is trying to get it wrong). So Jeff Probst re-sets the round. As the two get ready, Mike murmurs “Listen to me, I’m giving it to you.” With Mike not trying once again, Kelly still gets it wrong again! An amused Probst says he will cut the sequence from six objects to five to make it easier for someone to win. And this time Mike murmurs to Kelly that he will set everything up correctly except two bottles will be reversed from their correct positions. With him coaching her at every turn, she gets it right and thus the Red team wins their second challenge in a row.

Afterwards Mike eyes the Rodney and Joaquin friendship and decides they are now too tight: “Power couples have to be split up before they can start making power moves.”

Meanwhile Rodney and Joaquin seem to be in a contest to say who can say the word bro the most often. Advantage Joaquin, who says “Bro, bro, bro, it’s gonna work out so perfect.”

The critical factor will obviously be: will Sierra ally with these two bros plus Tyler? Or will she go with Mike and Dan, and their new ally Joe? She is still mad at Dan from before, but she doesn’t exactly love Rodney either.

At tribal council, we see something I don’t believe I’ve seen before at that event: a snap-brim hat, worn by Dan. But more importantly, Sierra makes her decision and Joaquin is voted out.

Favorites to win: 1) Joe, 2) Mike, 3) Jenn, 4) Tyler, 5) Kelly, 6) Will

No chance: Carolyn, Dan, Hali, Rodney, Shirin, Sierra

“I’m jacked for a reason”: Survivor Worlds Apart 3/4, 3/11 and 3/18 recap

18 Mar

We start by looking at the blue collar tribe, and we find that Dan the postman managed to lose his underwear underwater in a freak accident. So he somehow makes an extra shirt into a pair of shorts.

On the white collar tribe, Max starts walking around naked. He tells the camera that being naked is a good way to get time by himself. Shirin follows his example, at least as far as her lower body is concerned.

On the no-collar tribe, Nina the deaf woman feels excluded by the other women and tells them this, tearfully. Though it seems much of this exclusion is a misunderstanding based on her not hearing some of the things people say. So now we have covered the most abrasive person on each tribe … maybe. As for the coconut salesman Vince on the no-collar tribe, he tells the viewer that he likes friends he can share 10-second embraces with, unlike his tribemates here.

Ten seconds seems pretty long for a hug. But maybe that’s just me. Anyway, Nina, Vince, and the “Youtube sensation” Will seem to have an alliance, with Joe (who is somewhat similar to Malcolm from Survivor: Philippines), Hali, and Jenn making up the other alliance on the tribe. No-collar finishes last in the challenge, so they have to vote someone out, and that person is Vince. A shame, he was a great character.

As we begin the March 11 episode we find that all did not go smoothly at the prior vote. There were supposed to be two votes for Vince and two for Nina, yet Vince got three. It turned out Will just didn’t want to vote Nina and cast his for Vince instead, causing his tribemates to distrust him.

On the white collar tribe, everyone is searching for an immunity idol (not knowing Carolyn already has it, with the exception of Tyler who does not reveal his knowledge). Shirin proposes unilateral disarmament in the form of everyone taking a break from searching. Joaquin will have none of it and tells Shirin he hasn’t trusted her since day one. However Joaquin does show the clue to Tyler (not that it does Tyler any good).

Over at the blue-collar tribe, Texan Mike has been giving the others grief for not working hard enough, and Rodney tells him he’ll work when he pleases. Referring to his muscles, Rodney also notes, “I’m jacked for a reason. I got motivation, dedication, bro.” Rodney also notes the “fact” that houses in Texas cost $100,000 while in Massachusetts they cost $400,000.

The no-collar tribe has to go to Tribal Council once again, and even Will is no longer behind Nina. She is voted out over Will, 3-2.

The March 18 double episode starts with Mike killing and skinning a snake. Everyone is hungry so they eat it, including Rodney who has made up with Mike in the meantime.

The reward challenge is the annual “blindfold” challenge where each team has one person with no blindfold who has to call out what to do to all of his teammates. This time, the most difficult part involves two people having to hoist up a platform on pulleys. (By the way, before the challenge Tyler addresses Jeff Probst as “J.P.” That might be a first).

In the course of the challenge we see Probst warn the players a couple of times that the platform they have to hoist is heavy, and they need to let it down gently instead of just letting go. Since we never hear such extraneous warnings under normal circumstances, we know that a platform must be about to fall on someone. Sure enough, it falls on Kelly’s head, causing a huge cut and a lot of blood. Wait a minute, who’s Kelly? I don’t think this woman has had a line all season, but it turns out she is a cop from the state of New York. The medic puts a bandage on her forehead and she toughs out the rest of the challenge, but her blue collar tribe still loses.

The no-collar tribe, who came in first (their first win of any sort this season), gets some chickens as their reward, and they resolve to kill one of them for the meat. Vegetarian Jenn can’t stand to look, so she leaves camp, and decides to look for an idol despite not having any clues. Sure enough, she finds one.

The immunity challenge is similar to the old arcade game “Ice Cold Beer”. The blue team comes in last. Lindsey, the tattooed hairdresser who has been sparring with Rodney all season, takes Dan aside to say she wants to vote out Rodney. Dan indicates he’s 100% with her, but then tells the camera “I am so much smarter than I look.” Meanwhile, Bostonian Rodney is telling viewers “I’m the Tom Brady here,” i.e. the leader.

It boils down to Lindsey and Sierra versus Rodney, Mike, Kelly, and Dan. But within the latter alliance is a sub-alliance: Kelly and Mike. And they don’t trust Rodney. At Tribal Council there is much criticism of Rodney, who says in his defense “My mother will tell you I’m the biggest sweet-hahht out there.” The vote is tied between Rodney, Lindsey, and Sierra, and the re-vote is 3-0 for Lindsey.

As we begin the second hour, Sierra feels betrayed, especially because two votes were cast for her. For whatever reason, Dan takes this opportunity to critique Sierra‘s performance in the game so far, which alienates her even more. Luckily for Sierra, the next morning Probst announces a tribe switch.

There are now only Blue and Red teams. Blue has the old blue-collar members Dan, Mike, Rodney, and Sierra, plus Tyler, Joaquin, and Joe (i.e. pretty much everyone who is athletic). The Red team has no-collar Will, Hali, and Jenn joined by Max, Carolyn, and Shirin from white collar, plus Kelly from blue collar who is very stressed at being by herself. among strangers.

Actually Kelly is in good shape, at least for now, because once they get to camp after a reward challenge (easily won by Blue) both sides are recruiting Kelly to break a presumed 3-3 tie. (By the way Kelly says she is an undercover cop … can she still be that after announcing what she does on a national show?).

Meanwhile Shirin wastes no time driving everyone nuts with incessant talking, just like she did on white-collar. I feel sorry for anyone at Yahoo who had to go to meetings with this woman! But Max tries his best to get on people’s nerves too.

Then Max goes swimming and comes back with two bleeding feet. It seems a stingray stung him twice, once in each foot. Jenn the seasoned sailor knows that the cure for this is to soak the wound in hot water, so she grabs the almost-boiling drinking water pot and Max puts his feet in it. This soothes his pain. However, when he takes his feet out everyone sees he has a plantar wart, which they are very grossed out by since he just had his foot in the pot they use for drinking water!

On the Blue team, while there are four former blue-collar people, remember Sierra feels alienated from the others. So Mike and Dan (presumably Rodney too) know they are on the wrong end of a 4-3 vote if they don’t have Sierra on their side. Mike tells Dan he will have to apologize to Sierra for his harsh comments. And Mike warns Dan not to try to get too cute or complicated with it, just sincerely say he is sorry and that’s all. Dan says OK but then tells the camera “I’m twice your age! I have talked to so many more girls than you have, it’s silly.” So he proceeds to take a walk with Sierra and sort of apologize but then go back to arguing with Sierra about all the things she has done wrong. This was painful to watch, he botched it so badly.

On the Red team, Jenn, Hali and Will think they are against Max, Shirin and Carolyn and that Kelly is the swing vote. But then Carolyn shocks Jenn by telling her “I am not part of that three.” So now it’s easy: the vote will be for either Max or Shirin (Kelly is not foolish enough to align with those two). Somewhat surprisingly, it ends up being Max.

Then again, maybe it’s not that surprising. Max spends the entire Tribal Council dropping references to and catchphrases from previous Survivor seasons, which is already quite annoying after three minutes. If he has been doing this for days in camp, it’s no wonder everyone has had enough.

OK, it’s time to go on record with some rankings. I can’t remember having six people on my “no chance” list this early before!

Favorites to win: Joe, Tyler, Kelly, Jenn

Not sure yet: Mike, Will

No chance: Carolyn, Dan, Hali, Joaquin, Rodney, Shirin, Sierra


“Too early to be a villain” : Survivor Worlds Apart 2/25/2015 Premiere Recap

26 Feb

“Blue Collar vs. White Collar vs. No Collar”  is our theme for the season, and as usual we get preliminary profiles of a few players as we see them take a jeep ride to the beach. Now, the “collar” designations are probably a bit loose. Take Sierra, a “barrel racer” — is being in the rodeo a blue collar profession?

When the tribes assemble on the beach, they are already more or less wearing the colors that are going to be their tribe colors, and oddly, the no-collar tribe is already wearing their buffs with tribe name! That’s very odd indeed.

Jeff Probst tells each tribe they have to pick one person to make an important decision. When these have been chosen, these leaders each have to pick an additional person to join them.

The white collar tribe picks Joaquin, who seems eager to position himself as the designated douchebag of the group. He in turn picks So, a retail buyer who has already boasted that she has made everyone who has ever worked for her cry at some point.

The no-collar tribe picks Will, who is described as a “Youtube sensation” who hit it big with a video of himself and his wife singing at a gas station. And the tribe chooses Will for the role because … he promises to make them sandwiches. Jeff Probst can’t believe his ears, and asks how Will proposes to do this. He doesn’t have much of an answer. Will in turn picks Jenn … because she’s good-looking? She certainly is that, though we later find out that her personality is a bit prickly.

The blue-collar tribe picks a loudmouth mailman named Dan, and a fellow named Mike volunteers to be #2.

When the tribes get to their camps, the respective duos go off by themselves to find they have a choice between “Deceive” and “Honest”. The former is a small bag of beans for the tribe plus an immunity idol clue, while the latter is a larger bag and no idol clue.

Now, you’d think anyone who saw the Beauty vs. Brawn vs. Brains season would know that “Honest” is the only choice, simply because after any kind of merge the various tribes would compare notes, and expose anyone who is deceitful (as happened to Morgan on that season).

On the blue-collar tribe, Dan says that villains get further in the game, but “it’s too early to be a villain,” so he and Mike go with Honest. The no-collar tribe, as you might expect, also chooses Honest. Not so with Joaquin of the white collars, who thinks Deceive is the only choice. His tribemate So points out that choosing Deceive would automatically put the two of them into an alliance.

When Dan and Mike get back to their tribe they explain everything that happened, but since the “big” bag of beans is not all that big, Sierra erroneously thinks they lied and got an idol for themselves. In Joaquin and So’s case, they decide to not only lie but come up with a complicated lie, namely that there was also a “neutral” option which they chose because the other options seemed fraught with so many perils. I guess they had to say something since Probst had announced that there was a decision to be made. But none of the other white collars are buying this story.

Speaking of stories, we soon see Rodney, a Bostonian on the blue-collar tribe, tell Lindsey (a hairdresser who has hideous hair) about the day he found his sister murdered in cold blood. She is sympathetic, and Rodney soon tells the camera that his story is bound to get all of the women on his side. Does that mean the story is made-up? We’ve already found out that despite calling himself a furniture mover he is actually more prosperous and a contractor, so I tend to believe this is a fib as well.

In other blue-collar news, Mike finds a scorpion and promptly cuts off its tail and eats the rest! Which he vomits up soon thereafter.

By this time in the show we have heard almost every player say some variation of “when I want something I go get it,” and no-collar Vince the coconut peddler is no different. And what he wants right now is an alliance with Jenn. However Vince soon butts heads with his tribemate Joe over how to build a shelter. Dan has similar arguments with some women on the blue-collar tribe, and quickly realizes he doesn’t have an ally in the game other than Mike. It’s got to be depressing to realize your only ally is a guy who tries to eat scorpions.

Most of the no-collar tribe quickly proves to be anything but the happy-go-lucky types they’re characterized as. Vince sees his ally Jenn share a few friendly moments with Joe, and immediately gets very jealous, asking Jenn at the first opportunity whether she has feelings for Joe!

On the white-collar tribe, So slips away the first chance she gets and starts searching all over a certain area, which to tribemate Carolyn is a dead giveaway that an idol is being sought. Carolyn then starts checking the same area and she finds it. This puts her in a great position since everyone will think So and Joaquin are the only ones who might have an idol.

The challenge is interesting band fresh, because the tribes are given choices at a couple of different junctures. The latter juncture is the final puzzle, where they can choose one of three types. The white collar tribe picks a puzzle that, while straightforward, has a lot of pieces, and Shirin, an executive at Yahoo, takes so long to complete it that her tribe loses a big lead and has to go to tribal council.

At tribal council, So and Joaquin again repeat their lie about the decision they had to make. Max, a hipster professor type, says he might have made the same decision in their case but would have done a better job of lying about it. Then So says words to the effect of, “OK that was a lie, but the four of us are really strong.” Both Probst and Carolyn want to know who these four are, and So says the other two are Max and Tyler (the latter being a somewhat Clark Griswold-like talent agent).

When it’s time to vote, Carolyn surprisingly does not play her idol. So is voted out, and it appears everyone but Joaquin voted for her.

Kudos to the show for already establishing almost every one of the 18 characters in this first 90-minute show! It seems like a good cast, too.

Early favorites to win: Max, Joe, Tyler.

The Bachelor: Chris Soules’ Season in Review (So Far)

29 Jan

Four episodes in, it’s time to take stock of the ongoing season, contestant by contestant. Let’s start with the ones who are no longer around.

Alissa: A sweet little airline stewardess who gamely did a fake onboard “safety briefing” on the first episode. When she watched the broadcast of that, she was probably mortified.

Amanda: Mostly memorable for having strangely huge eyes. Her limo shtick was to make the limo driver give Chris a note telling him to turn around, and refusing to let him see her until they were inside the house later. She is from Lake in the Hills, IL which she told the Bachelor is “super-north” of Chicago.

Ashley S.: An insane blonde who sort of looks like Courtney Thorne-Smith. It’s hard to pick her low point, but it was probably on a group date that involved playing paintball against fake zombies. Ashley kept saying “Mesa Verde” and somehow managed to make that sound creepy. Her specialty was stringing together sentences that didn’t make any sense. Either she’s mentally ill or it was all just an act, probably the latter.

Amber: The one black (presumably?) contestant, she only made it a couple of episodes.

Bo: A plus-size model who was ousted the first week.

Brittany: Her job is “WWE diva-in-training.” When did being a diva become something positive? Her limo gimmick involved a sign with the hashtag “#soulesmates.” Groan.

Jillian: An energetic type who is into bodybuilding, she had a de facto one-on-one date when she won a group competition, but spoiled the mood by being uncouth and talking about herself all the time. Also see the note on her under Jordan. Any time Jillian turned her back to the camera, a black box was superimposed on her rear end by the producers, presumably because of thongs that just left too little to the imagination. A note about female bodybuilders: I’m sure there are men out there who find them attractive…. but very, very, very few.

Jordan: Student from Colorado who was drunk much of the time. Her most memorable moment was her comment, “Jillian has the hairiest ass I’ve ever seen on a woman.” When a producer asked if she was referring to “peach fuzz,” she stressed that she didn’t mean that: “This is, like, hair inside your ass.”

Juelia: A gorgeous esthetician from Portland. I had never heard of that job, but apparently it means a beautician whose specialty is the skin. Her deep dark secret was that she has a child and is widowed, and that her husband committed suicide. When Chris let her go in Episode 4 he even walked her out, unusual for that early in the season.

Kara: A “25-year-old” from Kentucky. I just cramped my fingers making air quotes as I typed.

Kimberly: A brunette yoga instructor who was eliminated on the first episode but turned around and went back into the room, and actually convinced Chris to keep her around another week. And it was only one more week.

Michelle: A stunning wedding cake decorator from Utah. She probably can’t walk to the mailbox without being hit on.

Nicole: Realtor from Scottsdale. If she got any camera time at all, I missed it.

Nikki: Brunette ex-New York Jets cheerleader who looks like she works out a lot, but in a good way (unlike Jillian). On the first episode she bragged that she had just come from Peru. Other than that, her personality seemed low-key, and home she went in Week 4.

Reegan: Her job involves cadavers, and her limo gimmick was to pull out a fake bloody heart. Also, who wants to date someone with the same name as the girl on “The Exorcist”?

Tandra: An executive assistant from Utah. She made no impression in her two episodes (on Chris or me).

Tara: A 5-foot-10 “sport fishing enthusiast” from Fort Lauderdale. Her talent, according to her, is that she can look great in jeans but also sport high heels with the best of them. I’ve never heard that one before … except in every match.com profile ever.  She got so sloshed on the first episode it looked like she wouldn’t be able to stand up through the whole rose ceremony. Asked in her questionnaire about the most outrageous thing she had ever done, she wrote, “I went to a different country using my identical twins’ (sic) I.D. and passport.” If her twin is identical, this doesn’t sound like that much of an accomplishment, really.

Tracy: Elementary school teacher from Florida. See Tandra.

Trina: Special Ed teacher from California. See Tandra.

Now for the eleven ladies who are still left in the season.

Ashley I: She mentions incessantly that she is a virgin and has never had a boyfriend. So many times that this topic surely adds up to an hour of the eight hours of show we’ve had so far. When she doesn’t get the “Cinderella” date she goes on and on about how she sees herself as a princess. Ashley has zero chance to make it to the end. It’s impossible to imagine her moving in with Chris on his farm in Iowa.

Becca: She’s a virgin too, the difference is that she only mentions it one time. Becca is neither spectacular-looking nor does she have any crazy personality trait. She just seems normal, which to me means she has a chance to win.

Britt: Wears less makeup than Tammy Bakker. But only slightly. I don’t see the appeal, but Chris seems to have a connection with her until Episode 4 when she annoys him by asking insecure questions about other women.

Carly: Won a goat-milking contest despite having to face off against Jillian who competed with the ruthlessness of the Terminator. Here’s a fact that has not been mentioned on the air yet: it seems Carly is the younger sister of Zak Waddell who was one of the final few contestants on Desiree’s season of the Bachelor. Zak was the wild-eyed guy who whipped his shirt off at every opportunity. Carly is a cruise ship singer, and her limo gimmick was to sing to Chris using a karaoke machine. Quite a sweetheart, or at least that’s the only side we have seen so far.

 Jade: Definitely one of the favorites to win. After not getting much face time with Chris early, she did get a tour of his pad during the pool party, and then in a later episode Chris’ sisters chose her to go on a one-on-one date with Chris. She’s originally from Nebraska so it isn’t too much of a stretch to envision her living in Iowa.

Kaitlyn: Her limo gimmick was to tell Chris: “I know you are a farmer. And you can plow the f*** out of my field any day.” She is a goofy Canadian who’s the type that’s a bit too “one of the guys” for my taste. Chris seems to dig her though.

Kelsey: One of two widows on the show. She seemed refreshingly normal until Episode 4 but some prickly aspects of her personality have begun to emerge. One of the group dates involved going to a lake, and she sniffed that Michigan lakes are much better. Nobody from Minnesota was around to try and one-up her.

Mackenzie: This dental assistant from Washington is 21 but acts more like 16. Just not what a man in his 30s is looking for, in any respect. When she heard about Ashley I. being a virgin she told Ashley this was a huge advantage, noting “Guys like taking your virginity.”

Megan: I have no idea if her spectacular chest is why Chris is keeping her around, but at worst it is doing no harm to her candidacy.

Samantha: So far she has the Bachelor record for least camera time, averaging around five seconds per two-hour episode. So she’s evidently not particularly quotable, but she was a contestant in the Miss Indiana pageant. I’m sure the Indiana-to-Iowa adjustment would be doable.

Whitney: Fertility nurse from Chicago who certainly seems like a nice person, but her squeaky voice is her Achilles heel.

Final Four prediction: For now, I will go with Becca, Jade, Kaitlyn and Kelsey.


Final thoughts about Survivor San Juan Del Sur aka Blood vs. Water II

20 Dec

Good things about this season:

– There were quite a few blindsides.

– Natalie was a deserving winner.

– Natalie made a sequence of big moves in the last few episodes (whether she even needed to is a different question).

Bad things about this season:

– The vast majority of the camera time went to four players: Missy and Baylor and Jon and Jaclyn. None of whom were particularly interesting.

– There wasn’t really a second strong player in the season, except possibly Josh. Jeremy got a lot of credit for being a good player and a big strategist, but I don’t see that he really did very much.

– Some of the players did not know the game of Survivor that well, and it showed. Wes and Keith are exhibit A.

– The cast was unlikable as a whole.

– There were a lot of boring stretches.

Big picture:

I won’t make you look at my updated rankings to find out where I rank this past-season, all-time. The answer is …


I can imagine your reaction: “You ranked this below Nica-freaking-ragua?”

I guess I should detail why this ranked below other dishonorable-mention seasons.

South Pacific was no classic, but it had two great players and great characters in Ozzy and Coach, plus two other memorable characters in Brandon Hantz and Cochran.

Nicaragua, while it had its faults, also had six or seven really good characters, as discussed here.

The Amazon had a fascinating setting that was also fresh, where San Juan Del Sur just reused the setting from Nicaragua.

Heck, I even had to wonder if I should rank this below Survivor: One World. I can’t believe I just said that, but consider that that season had a stronger winner in Kim. But that would have been going too far. San Juan Del Sur had some people playing badly, but at least they were all playing the game. In One World that was not so.

Does anyone from this season make my all-time top ten players list? Get real. Natalie was a deserving winner, but didn’t dominate the season like a Kim, Tony, or Rob. Not even close.


“The quintessential wicked stepmother”: Survivor San Juan Del Sur December 17 2014 Finale recap

20 Dec

Jaclyn is stunned at Jon having been voted out, and she’s in no mood to hear Missy say of herself that outside the game “I’m loyal to a fault.” “So is he!” she snaps, referring to Jon.

The reward challenge is won by Keith, and the prize is an advantage in the next immunity challenge. In previous seasons, this advantage has essentially handed the immunity win to that person … will that be the case here? Jaclyn is sent to Exile Island. Yes there is a clue to an immunity idol there, but the same clue others have already read, which led to the idol that Jon found.

Keith’s reward instructions specified that he could only read them by himself and not share the information with anyone. The reward turns out to be a “challenge table” (the regular challenge, but set up for one person) in a private spot at camp. The note says the person can practice as long as he wants, but if he walks away he cannot go back. Keith takes this very seriously and practices the challenge until he can’t think straight. It involves transporting ping pong balls across a tabletop obstacle course at the end of tiny paddles.

On the strategy front, Natalie tells the camera she is considering allying with Keith and Jaclyn rather than Missy and Baylor. Natalie has an idol, don’t forget.

In the challenge, we find out how critical practice was. Keith transfers all three of his balls to the other end of the table before anyone else has done a single one … though it still takes him a long time. He wins his third immunity of the season.

Unfortunately the show handled the finale the same way they did last year — by starting with Jeff Probst and the live studio audience and going back to this several times during the broadcast so he can chat with some fan or other in the stands. I can’t fast-forward through this fast enough.

Before tribal, Jaclyn makes her pitch to Natalie, while Baylor tells Natalie that since she has an idol she should play it for Missy just in case. Not that this really makes sense.

At tribal council Jeff asks Missy what she thinks about the possibility of idols, and Missy says she knows who has one, which is news to at least one of the other contestants. Also, it is pointed out a couple of times in the course of the show that there is only one pair of loved ones left in the game, Missy and Baylor.

After the voting, Natalie takes out her idol (this is the last round an idol can be used, remember). The walks up to Probst and asks, “Jaclyn, did you vote for who I told you to vote for?” Jacyln nods. Natalie: “I’m playing this for Jac.” Shocker: Baylor is voted out! A really good blindside!

After some pointless crowd interviews at the live show by Probst, we find out Natalie’s thinking: “Trusting two family members in a situation where I could be the outsider just seemed like a really dangerous thing.” She adds “I can get rid of a couple but not be the main threat.” She also says Missy’s case in final three would be much better if Baylor were there, I don’t understand that part. By the way, the same Missy who goes into hysterics if her daughter gets a hangnail seems surprisingly calm about her daughter being voted out of the game.

Alas, for at least the second year in a row there is no fallen comrades tribute. I always enjoyed it, but apparently many didn’t, and we may never see it again. Anyway, time for the final immunity challenge.

What seems to be standard stuff, ending with solving a puzzle at the top of a tower, includes a new twist: the final puzzle includes a few empty shapes, and contestants need to run back down one more time, memorize numbers that go with those shapes, and go back up to solve a combination. The injured Missy sits out, so only three participate. Jaclyn is so far behind that Probst declares she’s out of it, but Keith and Natalie both have so much trouble with the puzzle that Jaclyn not only catches up, but beats Natalie, with the puzzle knocking Keith from first to third. It’s Jaclyn’s only individual challenge win of the season.

Time for everyone to campaign, right? And presumably everyone should be convincing Jaclyn to help knock out the obvious threat to win, Natalie? Actually the only lukewarm effort from Keith we see is to convince her to vote out Missy — Keith thinks Missy would get the sympathy vote in addition to an automatic vote from Baylor. Meanwhile, Missy just advises Jaclyn to go with her gut feeling.This sequence is disappointing, is this all the other players are going to do at this critical moment?

Well, come tribal council it seems Jaclyn is more worried about Keith and his friends on the jury … though as I discussed in my previous post, I’m not sure who all of these friends are supposed to be. Keith is voted out, and we see Jon on the jury grimacing — he knows Jaclyn made a big mistake.

Keith, however, tells the camera “No hard feelings, I love ‘em all.”

Nothing interesting ever happens between this last regular vote and the final tribal council, so let’s get right to it. But I should note that the final tribal does not start until the 1 hour 51 minute mark of a 2 hour show! So that’s quite a giveaway that not a lot of interesting content is forthcoming.

Indeed, the jury is lofting up plenty of softballs. Jon, astutely recognizing his girlfriend’s perceived weakness, asks Jaclyn to name a big move or decision that she is solely responsible for. She says the Josh vote. Then Alec asks Natalie what her biggest move was and she says … getting Alec out. That strokes his ego big-time. Then it’s time for Josh’s question and he asks Jaclyn… what one big move is that she was solely responsible for. C’mon man, we covered that! And Wes asks each contestant what it was like to play with their respective loved one. Groan! What’s next, asking “if you were a tree, what tree would you be?” Jeremy doesn’t ask questions but just makes a statement, namely that Natalie “balled out.” Yawn.

Ah, but then it’s time for Reed as the last juror, and he puts his focus squarely on Missy. He tells Missy she is a stock character in fiction, the wicked stepmother. “She spoils her children by giving them more rice at dinner… she takes things she’s either not entitled to or didn’t earn herself … You got more gimmes in this game than anyone and performed the worst than anyone (sic) at challenges… You made the quintessential wicked stepmother move by abusing the help” (by making sure everyone in minority alliances felt inferior). And Reed notes with satisfaction “The people you were so rude and terrible to are going to decide your fate this evening.” BOOM! Just what I thought about Missy all season! Reed saved a lame tribal council with a moment that has to be one of the all-time top five for this season-ending event.

No big surprise when the votes are read: Natalie wins. At the aftershow, Jaclyn’s move to vote out Keith is discussed, and she says she misread the situation: Probst then asks for a show of hands: what would the vote have been with a final three of Jaclyn, Missy, and Keith? Probst obviously thinks the result will be that Jaclyn would have won, but no: it actually turns out that that trio would have resulted in Keith winning. So Jaclyn didn’t have a chance no matter what. Nor do I think she deserved to win over Natalie … and perhaps not over Keith either.

Probst announces that the following season will be entitled “Survivor: Worlds Apart” and the concept will be “white collar vs. blue collar vs. no collar” (the latter meaning  free-spirit types).

I’ll be back soon with final thoughts to wrap up the season.


Recapping Survivor San Juan Del Sur November 19 + 26 and December 3 + 10

13 Dec

As we begin the November 19 show, Jon said that what tipped the scales to make him vote against Josh was Jaclyn’s complaints that the guys were acting like boors.

The reward challenge is a balance-beam duel over mud. Natalie and Jeremy are among the winners, and they give up their spots to Jon and Jaclyn. Also, Jeremy is sent to Exile Island (his alliance-mates want to send one of their own, to prevent anyone from the other alliance from finding an idol). Reed tells the camera “It makes you want to hurl.” Also, at this point the season is getting pretty boring, and the cast is not likable.

The “exiled” Jeremy uses the clue, but finds no idol. Therefore he comes to the conclusion that Jon found it on his prior trip, though Jon mentioned no such thing to Jeremy. Meanwhile back at camp, it suddenly dawns on Jon that Jeremy will figure this out and Jon’s cover will be blown.

The immunity challenge involves stacking blocks, but the twist is that all of the stacking has to be done with the feet. So many challenges on this show favor people with small feet, do we finally have an exception here? By the way, we see that Missy’s feet are hideous, for some reason this causes much schadenfreude in me. Baylor wins the challenge.

At camp, Reed decides to search Keith’s bag, and while he doesn’t find the idol, he finds the clue which Keith kept for some reason. Meanwhile, Jeremy tells Natalie that Jon must have an idol. He decides to ask Jon about it and try and catch him in a lie. And when that happens, Jon does indeed lie. However Jon goes and tells Missy that he has an idol, and that he wants to vote Jeremy out. That would really be rocking the boat.

At tribal council Josh files in, confirming he’s the first jury member. Probst points out that incredibly, no idol has been played so far this season (and we’re on episode 9). It’s pretty clear that Reed or Keith will be voted out. And the second member of our jury is … Jeremy? What a blindside! And Natalie is aghast. Wow, a really boring episode for 59 minutes, but lots of excitement for one!

The votes went as follows:

voted for Reed: Keith, Wes, Alec

voted for Keith: Jeremy, Natalie

voted for Jeremy: Reed, Missy, Baylor, Jon, Jaclyn

I bet Jeremy regrets giving up his reward spot now!

Also, two weeks ago this season was shaping up as a Josh vs. Jeremy showdown, now both of them are on the jury.

As the November 26 show begins, Jon admits to Natalie that he has an idol. But soon Natalie goes hunting for an idol of her own, she had seen a clue when she was on Exile Island after all.

Reed is one of the winners of the reward challenge and says he’ll give up his spot on the reward (bringing local Nicaraguan kids some baseball equipment) to Missy. This is the same Reed who pointed out at the last tribal council how transparent it was that other players had given up their reward spots. Gag! Meanwhile Wes is sent to Exile, and not one second of his time there is shown on TV.

Reed tells the viewers that with the reward participants gone, he can start on his plan to take out Jon, and he starts by approaching Keith. His idea is to have four people vote for Jon (Reed, Keith, Wes, and Alec) on the assumption that the others will split their votes between Wes and Keith.

Natalie and Baylor are idol-hunting, and Natalie finds it. The show has become pretty predictable on this score, now almost every time they show someone searching for an idol the person finds it. Also, we find out that Natalie also wants to take out Jon.

The immunity challenge involves standing on a perch while holding handles overhead. Probst makes a big deal of the fact that each setup is a different height to make it fair … but he doesn’t say if the ledges are different widths. And soon, our congenial host starts whipping out food items to try and tempt people into quitting. Jon quits to take candy, and of course he’s pretty secure. But who else quits to have some chicken wings? Wes! And he’s anything but secure! What is this guy thinking?

To Tribal we go … will Reed’s audacious plan work? Well, for one thing everyone has to play their roles perfectly, and Reed gamely plays the part of a man who’s going to vote Wes or Keith out. But Keith, in an incredibly misguided attempt at being subtle, makes a reply containing the words “stick to the plan.” This is quite possibly one of the dumbest things that have ever been done on Survivor. It’s news to everyone else that Keith is part of any sort of plan, and everyone starts whispering to each other, including Reed who tries to do damage control. When it’s time to vote, Natalie whispers to Jon, “Dude, play your idol.” He does. And Keith takes his out too, not to give to Wes who actually might have some slight chance to win, but to use on himself. Most of the votes do indeed go to Jon, but of course do not count. This means Wes is out of the game, and we’re down to eight players.

The December 3 episode begins with Alec and Reed telling Keith they’re mad at him. Understandably so, considering he just ruined both of their games with one sentence! Alec had done a pretty good acting job of convincing Jon he was with him, but of course now Jon no longer trusts him. And Alec tells the camera that he doesn’t trust Reed as an ally either.

Time for a time-honored Survivor challenge. The players have to answer trivia questions about one another, and each time a person gets a correct answer they get to hack at a rope with the names of one of the other players. When the rope is hacked through enough times it crushes the fake skull with the person’s name on it, knocking them out of the challenge. Of course the point of this challenge on the part of the producers is to shake things up by getting players mad at each other based on who hacks which rope. Then the winner of the challenge gets to pick others to go on a reward, there’s another opportunity to make people mad.

Being in the minority, Alec, Reed, and Keith are quickly knocked out. Then after the next question the remaining players all exchange glances to try and arrange who will be cutting whose rope. Probst has no patience for this and says something to the effect of, “If this is just a charade and you guys are throwing the rest of the challenge to hand the victory to one person, just get it over with and tell me who it’s going to be.” Thank you Probst!

So Missy is handed the victory and gets to choose two people to join her on the reward (Jon goes to Exile Island). Missy chooses Baylor as the first and picks Natalie over Jaclyn as the second. Reed and Keith immediately point out that maybe Missy isn’t Jaclyn’s friend after all, and Jaclyn is clearly miffed. At Exile Island, Jon finds a new immunity idol to replace the one he played.

At camp, Jaclyn is alone with Reed, Keith, and Alec, and the latter talks to her most of the time, or flirts with her as the case may be. There is an immunity challenge, won by Keith.

When Jon is reunited with Jaclyn she starts to explain her strategic insights but Jon says none of this is new. That infuriates Jaclyn. Reed intrudes on their tiff to make a case for why the couple should vote with him. Jon is considering it, but just then Natalie walks up, so Jon tells Reed he can’t trust him, but while winking hard with the eye that’s out of Natalie’s sight.

Jon then spends half an hour talking to Missy, which makes Jaclyn gets even more furious, and now she doesn’t want to speak to Jon at all (much time is devoted to this lovers’ quarrel). Reed is quite alarmed at this silent treatment and frankly tells Jaclyn “this may be a fatal fight for my game.” And at Tribal Council the argument gets discussed even further … yawn! And Reed is voted out.

Time for the second part of the two-hour December 3 episode. Have I mentioned that I find Missy really annoying? Especially her habit of biting her lower lip which I’m sure she thinks is adorable.

Natalie wins the reward challenge, which involves keeping a ball pressed against a post using something that looks like a bowling pin. She picks Alec to go to Exile Island … apparently they assume there is no immunity idol there, but I don’t know how they can assume that. Two idols were played recently and only one found since then, so wouldn’t that usually mean there is another idol in the game? This is not explained.

The reward is a feast plus the opportunity to spend the night in a comfy bed … but all of this will be at camp in full view of the other players. Natalie chooses Jaclyn and Jon to join her, but soon tells the camera and her allies that this is just to lull the two into a false sense of security, as she wants to try and vote Jon out in the very next Tribal. As they enjoy the reward, Jon tells Natalie that he found another idol at Exile Island.

Natalie goes to Baylor and suggests voting Jon out, but without telling Baylor’s mother Missy. They think Missy has a soft spot for Jon and wouldn’t go along with it, and think they wouldn’t need her vote since Keith and Alec would be game to join in. Jon tells Jaclyn he’s suddenly picking up a weird vibe around camp.

The immunity challenge involves collecting blocks and standing them on end on a wobbly table while holding a rope attached to that table. Jon wins immunity, so the obvious choices to be voted out are Alec or Keith. Since Keith has been a strong competitor in challenges, so they focus on him. The plan is to split the vote between the two (just in case there’s been a new idol in the meantime), but with the most votes going to Keith. However, Natalie thinks that Keith would be more likely to win immunity in the next round than Alec would, and prevent Jon from winning that immunity. So she unbalances the split and casts her vote for Alec instead of Keith. Alec is out of the game, and Jon and Jaclyn are shocked.

The December 10 episode begins with just six people left in the game. Based on how she read everyone at tribal council, Natalie decided that her best chance was to claim that she thought she was supposed to vote Alec as part of her alliance’s arrangement. She says it was only discussed very briefly and she obviously misunderstood the plan. This claim is fairly preposterous, but by golly everyone else seems to buy it! That doesn’t count Baylor who knows very well what just happened.

The reward challenge is won by Keith, Jon, and Missy, though Missy injures her ankle early on. Jon says he’ll give up his spot on the “spa day” reward to Baylor (though see above for how well giving up reward spots worked out for Jeremy and Reed … they were both voted out the next day!). Natalie and Jon both volunteer to go to Exile island, and Natalie is chosen.

When the group files in for the immunity challenge, Missy is walking with a crutch. Probst brings in the doctor (or to use Survivor parlance, he brings in “medical”). The doc says that the ankle is sprained at least, and it’s possible something is broken. But somehow this doctor is way less cautious than any other one we’ve seen to date. He says that since there are only a few days left in the game, they could just immobilize the ankle for now. Missy says she doesn’t want to quit, so they work on her ankle while the others participate in the immunity challenge, which is won by Natalie.

Natalie is back on her “vote out Jon” plan, but Missy says she isn’t on board, as she has given her word to go to the end with Jon and she would get no jury votes if she turned on him.

A couple of times during the episode Jon remarks that Natalie’s error could be a significant one. Jaclyn wonders if it was intentional, but Jon says his gut tells him it wasn’t, and they’re just being paranoid.

Still, the vote is 2 each for Keith, Jon, and Jaclyn. Meaning on the re-vote the only ones who can participate are Missy, Baylor, and Natalie. That means Jon is voted out.


Frankly it looks like Natalie has this one in the bag if she makes it from the final five to the final three.

The jury members as of now are Josh, Jeremy, Wes, Reed, Alec, and Jon. The players left are Missy, Baylor, Jaclyn, Keith, and Natalie.

None of the jurors have any strong bond to Missy and Baylor, nor did those two do much in terms of making noteworthy moves. Jaclyn has Jon’s vote sewn up but probably no others. Keith has Wes’s vote sewn up, but I doubt anyone else will respect his gameplay, certainly not Reed (and Josh) or Alec after the “stick to the plan” fiasco.

So I think this is a lock, but what if Natalie gets voted out before the final three? Here’s what the others should do to try to win, in order of how I rank their chances:

#2 Baylor: The combination she wants is to go to the finals with Jaclyn and Keith. If her mother Missy and Natalie are both on the jury, she’d likely get the votes of both, and I could see Alec voting for her as well. Then she’d have to bank on someone else considering her the lesser of three evils.

#3 Missy: First and foremost, get out Natalie. She can’t win against her, and could possibly get a vote from her. Also, she’s better off getting a vote from her daughter Baylor instead of taking her to the final three! I could see Jeremy throwing a vote her way too.

#4 Jaclyn: No way she takes any votes away from Natalie. If Natalie’s gone, I could actually see Josh and Reed respecting her gameplay enough to vote for her — they don’t care for Missy and Baylor, and Keith has no gameplay. And Alec has already said he’d party with her, so maybe he’ll vote for her too. Counting Jon, that’s four votes.

#5 Keith: It’s been said that he has “friends on the jury,” but is that really the case? Yes, he’ll get the vote of his son Wes. But Keith torpedoed Reed’s game with his “stick to the plan” blunder, and Reed and his boyfriend Josh won’t forget that. Keith was in Josh’s alliance, not Jeremy’s, so Jeremy owes him nothing. And Jon has pointed out on-camera that Keith seems kind of clueless about the game. I suppose Alec could vote for Keith, but somehow I think he would vote for one of the cute girls instead. I just don’t see a jury combination that leads to a Keith victory.



Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.