C’mon in guys! Survivor: One World begins

16 Feb

Hmm, the new season begins with a new twist (both tribes on one beach) and the abolition of a previous twist, the Redemption Island concept that lasted for two seasons. In retrospect Redemption Island was a terrible idea, because it took away the most dramatic part of the game, namely the sudden elimination of a contestant.

In a way I hate it when they tinker with the formula at all, or I did until I watched Hell’s Kitchen for a few seasons. Then I realized that it’s bad when you don’t do any tinkering at all. Heck, they didn’t even change the menu, it was scallops and risotto every season! The result was that every season was the same, and therefore boring and not worth watching.

Observations on the first episode:

– Survivor is one of the few HD shows that actually takes advantage of the HD. Wow.

– The women had all learned each other’s names in no time. Guys are cooler about that kind of thing. “Hey man.” “Hey buddy.” That goes a long way.

– The plan to “steal an ember” was ridiculous. It’s hard enough to start a fire in a fireplace with a box full of matches sometimes!

– Leif the midget is an interesting character who surprisingly got little screen time. He’s tiny but strong, kind of like Puck from Alpha Flight.

– Someone said “Oh, snap” on this show, something I had never heard until Courtney said it on the Bachelor 48 hours ago. Did this become a nationwide catchphrase in 48 hours?

– Jonas is a dead ringer for a guy I know. But I will never mention it to the guy so he doesn’t think I think all Asians look alike. Race relations are a minefield.

– Michael seems like a contender, but no square-jawed “hunk from central casting” type has ever won Survivor so the odds are against him.

– Interesting falling, Part I: Courtney somehow managed to stretch out her arms despite being told repeatedly not to do that, and immediately broke her wrist (no biggie — any tattooed contestant who goes on about how she’s an outsider never wins, and there have been several). Wow, I see now that she’s from Austin. That is zero surprise. Just look at her!

– Interesting falling, Part II: Colton managed to look gay even while plummeting through the air, which seems tough to do.

– Sabrina actually said “Don’t let him pump your ass”… to a gay guy. Ahem. What she meant was, “Don’t let him extract information from you.”

Early favorite: I really don’t have one yet. The only players who somewhat impressed me were Sabrina and Kim. Sabrina is obviously playing the game at least. As for Kim, she seems like she’d be able to charm the guys for sure, and since she’s a bridal shop owner she can probably handle crazed women as well as anyone.

No-chance list:

I suppose I should first underline the serious consequences of landing on my no-chance list. I have been keeping this list for 11 or 12 seasons now. Once you are on the list, you are on it for the entire season, and only two players have ever won after being put on the list: Parvati in Fans vs. Favorites and Sandra in Heroes vs. Villains.

Colton: He burned his bridges with the straight guys on the first day, and I have a hunch the girls will think of him as too devious and untrustworthy.

Alicia: You’d think she had never watched Survivor. Coming out of the gate with a strong personality is not the way to go, and I predict she will rub many people the wrong way.

Time for you to go.

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