“I’m not afraid of these panties at all” : Survivor One World Episode 13.

10 May

Is Christina the worst player in Survivor history? That’s something I had to ponder after this episode. While the question of who the all-time best players are is one that can be answered, and in fact I’ve answered it, the fact is that most of the candidates for worst were voted out very early in their respective seasons. Over the years some players have quit, perhaps that makes them the very worst. I’ve always considered Janu from the Palau season to be the worst player. Janu was very, very bad, but admittedly I may be unduly influenced by the fact that she was also incredibly annoying.

So, likeability or lack thereof aside, who is the flat-out worst? An idea on how to get a definitive answer: do a reverse All-Star season in which you bring together the worst player from each previous season, and then just see who’s voted out first and end the season after the one episode. Alas, not something a CBS executive is likely to green-light.

Put it this way: Christina is surely one of the worst ever to make it to the jury. But the odd thing is that usually a terrible player can only make it to the jury by riding someone’s coattails (take the aging hippie lady Scout from Vanuatu, or cowboy-hat-wearing, never-talking Rick from last season). But Christina has stumbled into the final five without ever even having an alliance!

I hate to knock Christina since goodness knows the players in the game are so openly mean to her, but she does not make the slightest effort to actually play. Take this episode, when Chelsea goes on a walk and puts out feelers for a possible strategic move. Does Christina at the very least consider whether the suggestion has merit? No. But she does immediately blab everything Chelsea said to all of the other players. Typical. Chelsea’s revenge is to renege on her promise to take Christina along on a reward if she wins it.

Speaking of the reward: the final phase featured a word you don’t hear very often anymore: decoder. It brought back memories of Fargo North, Decoder. Sigh.

Chelsea wins the reward and takes Sabrina and Kim with her… the latter enjoys her third reward in a row! Then Kim wins the immunity challenge.

Back at camp, there’s a brief thought that Alicia, Christina, and Tarzan might band together to vote off Chelsea. Chelsea says to Kim “I could play your idol.” Yet Kim doesn’t say yes… shouldn’t this have been a red flag for Chelsea?

At tribal council, Tarzan does one of the very few smart things he’s done in this game: he runs down why the jury wouldn’t vote for him, in an effort to stick around. He says “I helped the ladies get rid of the guys,” and a minute later Mike proves there’s no love lost by flipping Tarzan off. And just in case anyone thinks Kat would vote for Tarzan, he brings up the fact that he had her panties on his head. I’d think most people would find that kind of funny, but it makes Kat cry.

So… is it even possible that Kim does not win this game? She’s sure to use her idol at the next Tribal Council, since that will be the last time she’s allowed to. So it would take someone else winning immunity in the round of four. In all likelihood, the immunity challenge in the round of four will be a million-dollar challenge for Kim.

Contenders: 1) Kim, 2) Chelsea, 3) Sabrina

No-chance list: Alicia, Christina

Jury (likely vote in parentheses): Jonas , Mike, Jay, Leif, Troyzan, Kat (Kim), Tarzan (Kim)

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