“God’s way of showing me what a little bitch I am” : Survivor One World Finale

13 May

I hate to use a Colton quote in my subject line, and I hate to admit the following: his appearance on the reunion show was more interesting than anything that happened in the finale proper.

We began with the Round of 5, and Kim suggesting to Sabrina the idea of voting Chelsea out. Sabrina didn’t seem receptive, is that why Kim scuttled the plan? At any rate Kim won a mixed-bag combination challenge to secure immunity.

That led to an unusual situation: the person with an idol also had immunity in this round, the last round an idol can be played. At tribal council Christina and Chelsea campaigned to be kept around, Alicia and Sabrina didn’t. Chelsea was really sweating it, but Alicia was the one voted out. I was stunned Kim didn’t give the idol to Chelsea, who asked her for it flat-out, no wonder Chelsea was nervous!

The Round of 4 began with the annual “fallen comrades” tribute. (The players had no way of knowing that I had already recapped the season’s cast in far superior fashion.) Colton was heard from with the quote mentioned above.

Before I go any further: trust me, this round is usually quite exciting. The last challenge is a heart-stopping, grueling affair, afterwards at camp one or more people are torn between conflicting loyalties, then there’s a dramatic tribal council. Alas, drama and excitement sat this year out.

The final challenge was a brand-new one. Players had to guide a bowl through a vertical track that had a spring at its base, then stack each bowl they guided through on top of the structure. I give them credit for trying something new, and presumably when they play-tested it, the stacks would come tumbling down a lot, creating drama. Not so here as the players had no problems, and Kim won a challenge that was fairly close but not exciting. Then the gals returned to camp, and I don’t think we saw more than 30 seconds of conversation before everyone headed off to Tribal Council. Once arrived, Jeff asked Christina, “Was there strategy from your end?” Congratulations on keeping a straight face while saying that, Mr. Probst. She was then voted out and that was that.

I thought Kim made a major error not taking Alicia and Christina to the finals… but apparently not, since she won the game. Perhaps Kim figured that while Sabrina or Chelsea might be hacked off about being betrayed and vote against her, Christina had taken insults all year without having them even register, and might be a possible vote in Kim’s favor.

After Tribal Council Kim revealed that she, the bridal shop owner, was recently divorced. Wow, just think what a big deal other reality shows (the Bachelor, for instance) would have made of that. Here, it was mentioned just once in 16 hours of TV.

The last Tribal Council was boring, with almost every questioner talking about themselves rather than the final three! The order of questioning was the usual “least pissed to most pissed” but even Troy didn’t add many fireworks. He signed off with “Uno, dos, adios,” which, while making no sense, could have catchphrase potential. We later find out that everyone voted for Kim except Troy and Leif, who voted for Sabrina. Why the latter two chose her over Chelsea was not clear.

As for the reunion show: Colton was basically unrepentant. His mother apologized for him but basically blamed everything on her ex-husband. And the only other interesting thing that happened was that Bill inexplicably showed up in a 1980s prom outfit complete with jheri curl.

It was revealed that next season will be Survivor: Phillippines and will include three players who were airlifted out of previous seasons. They showed glimpses of Mike Skupin (Australia), Jonathan Penner, and “black Russell” from Russell Hantz’s first season. I guess it’s a lock that Colton will be one of the three returnees, but who will join him? I’d be surprised if it’s Mike, who would’ve had his chance in one of the all-star seasons. If they used Jonathan it would be his third time on the show, and Russell was a somewhat interesting character but not exactly “TV gold.”

At any rate, the Phillippine setting was welcome news since the last three seasons were all on the same beach in Samoa.

So where do this season and its players rank in Survivor history? Stay tuned for a future post on that…

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