“I’m called to something bigger”: The Bachelorette 6/4/2012

5 Jun

The above quote came from Ryan… and what was he referring to exactly? I knew it wasn’t the priesthood. At first I thought he meant a stud such as himself was meant to be with an even better-looking woman than Emily. But it soon became clear that he meant… he thinks he should be the next Bachelor! This is supposed to cause great outrage, but I’m not feeling it. Better him than another season of Ben.

Having covered Ryan, here’s the rest of the bro-by-bro:

Alejandro: The mushroom farmer continued to be kept in the dark, as it were, about the state of Emily’s affections. And the viewers have not seen much of him either. Is he a fun guy or does he just grow fungi? I doubt he lasts past the next episode.

Arie: The race car driver might well have the — this is bad even for me — inside track.

Charlie: Cried… after losing the sailing challenge? Jeez, the guys on the last Bachelorette didn’t even cry after losing at boxing! He did not get a rose at the end, so to quote a commercial that came out before Emily was born, sorry Charlie.

Chris: What is this guy’s problem? He seems to have declared a lifelong vendetta against Doug because of Doug’s ultra-controversial statement that… 30-year-olds have more life experience than 25-year-olds. His other beef with Doug? “You’re over-the-top humble… that’s kind of something that pisses me off.”

Doug: Had this episode’s one-on-one date. By the way, remember when Kalon said that Doug had “put being a dad on hold,” and Doug took offense? Two episodes later, it’s Doug saying “I put my entire life on hold to come down here.”

Jef: The skateboardin’ 1950s teen idol got the rose after the group date, but Emily laments that he hasn’t made a move yet. Cut him some slack, by all appearances the kid is 14!

John and Nate: Would hate being mentioned together just as much as they hated their 2-on-1 date with Emily. John got the rose on this one.

Kalon: To the producers’ chagrin, he did not do anything villainous in this episode, and he seems to have toned down his metrosexuality some.

Michael: Which would come first, the longhair from Austin being booted from the show or getting some camera time? It was the former.

Sean: Seems to like working “I played D-one football” into many a sentence. Like I wouldn’t.

Travis: The ostrich egg is gone, but he’s still around.

I’m called to something bigger… going to sleep. Good night.







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