“I’m street smart, not common sense smart.” Glass House Episodes 1 and 2

26 Jun

Glass House is basically Big Brother with a nicer house and better production values. Also, the casting resulted in a disproportionate amount of women whose boobs are not just big, but almost comically enormous. I’m sure that was a coincidence.

One knuckleheadĀ  (the author of the quote above), has already quit.

Another even bigger knucklehead has gotten voted out, but not before unsuccessfully trying to coin a new catchphrase in “baby-back bitch.”

Let’s look at who’s left:

Mike: A 48-year-old …. Bar Mitzvah DJ from Boston? Well, I guess St. Patrick’s Day DJs would only work one day a year, whereas there are bar mitzvahs year round. Good career move.

Gene: A 6’7″ 300-pound-plus black stuntman. Which action stars he plausibly doubles for is unclear.

Holly: Doesn’t appear in the cast photo so was evidently a last-minute replacement for the blonde who is shown there. Made an elimination vote that made no sense in the first episode, then compounded that error by confessing it. Then the housemates were able to determine she was lying about being an art history major after she could not name one artist. Her backup lie, that she was a psychology major, was exposed when she was asked to name a single psychologist and said Dr. Phil. On the plus side, she’s hot and looks like a girl who once hit on me.

Ashley: Thus far we know she’s from New Orleans and that’s about it.

Robin: An Ariana Huffington lookalike who says she’s 43 and probably is, though Holly described her as “60, maybe late 50s.” Her art history question to Holly was “who painted the Sixteenth Chapel.” I’m sure Ariana Huffington was aghast at that.

Joy: A nurse who mentions at every opportunity that she has posed for Playboy, and mentions she’s a nymphomaniac almost as often. In other words a reality show producer’s dream.

Jeffrey: If you want to see stereotypes about gay guys demolished, do not watch Jeffrey.

Erica: Mouthy cocktail waitress from Denver.

Apollo: Self-proclaimed poet who resembles Ali G. Announced that he would make his elimination choices by randomly drawing a playing card, but appears ready to ditch that shtick after one round.

Stephanie: Mensa member and scientist who alas was not in on the “Sixteenth Chapel” conversation.

Andrea: Pretty Mormon who’s more the quiet type. Not proving to be reality show gold so far.

Kevin: Cop from Ohio.

This show has the potential to be more fun than a Boston Bar Mitzvah!

 

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