Bachelor Pad Season Three Episode 2: The plot thickens

1 Aug

Alas, the game has come to an end for the blonde twins who were one of the highlights of the season. (To recap: one’s a virgin, one’s a slut, and they both bicker nonstop.) I think they need their own series.

This episode begins with a rhythmic gymnastics performance, followed by the guys and girls being shown a routine by a coach who looks like she’s about 11. Among the judges of the ensuing competition are that boring couple Ashley H. and J.P. Come to think of it, the producers showed Ashley teaching a dance class once, and it was pretty hot.

Michael (who if memory serves is a choreographer by trade) wins, and chooses to take Rachel, Lindzi, and newcomer Donna on the date. Donna tells one of the other girls “I kind of have a secret crush on him.” Her definition of secret might differ from mine, since she’s already mentioned the crush on national TV at least five times. The only thing she talks about almost as often is: “Normally a guy will be head over heels for me the first second.” Michael is a generous soul and says “I wanted to fulfill a little bit of a fantasy for her.” What is the selfless act? Oh yes, making out with Donna. And he got in a makeout session with Rachel as well, for reasons unspecified.

Jamie finds time to obsess over Blakeley whom she incorrectly calls a VIP cocktail waitress. As we learned on the premiere, Blakeley is a former waitress who has changed careers and now does waxing (of unwanted hair, that is) for a living. “Fitting, as she no doubt has plenty of experience jerking things off” would no doubt be Courtney’s comment.

We also got to see an unlikely romance bloom between horsey Lindzi and metrosexual villain Kalon.

Meanwhile Jamie’s partner Ryan throws a big birthday party for her, complete with cake, rose petals, etc. So who does Jamie like better, the nice guy who bends over backwards for her or the stud who’s ambivalent about her at best in Chris? I think you guessed it, reality fans. Nice guy Ryan literally finishes last as he’s voted out, with Jamie casting the deciding vote.

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