“He’s going to have a really, really clingy girl on his hands”: Bachelor Pad Episode Three

7 Aug

Poor Chris. He came into the season to find a number of women throwing themselves at him. He somehow chose to cast his lot with Blakeley, who is scheming, desperate, and a bit psycho. He spotted a way out in the form of Jamie, but now we find that she’s almost as scheming, just as desperate and potentially way more psycho than Blakeley is!

Newcomer David won the episode’s challenge and chose to take Blakeley and Jamie on the date along with Erica Rose, making the rest of the house exhale with relief that three drama queens would be away for the night. Among other things this led to Ed carting Jaclyn off to bed, prompting the quote in my subject line which was spoken by Sarah.

In the other date, Rachel took Tony, Michael, and Nick along to Madame Tussaud’s where they pretended to be wax figures as Bachelor fans passed the exhibit, then surprised them (well, a few of them) by “coming to life.” Awkwardly, two of the teen fans went on and on about how pathetic Tony was on Emily’s season… not that the rest of America didn’t think the same thing.

To cut to the chase, Reid and Donna were voted out. Donna (the fan with a body reminiscent of that of Starfire in the Teen Titans comics) knew she was in trouble earlier, and what was troubling her the most? “I can’t leave the Bachelor Pad and not hook up with somebody… that’s crazy.”

This leaves us with two alliances:

Alliance A: Michael Stagliano (whose popularity among female fans is amazing), Rachel (classy blonde), Jaclyn (who cries when she’s not fainting), Ed (usually drunk), Blakeley, Chris, Kalon (incredibly entertaining metrosexual prick), and Lindzi (horse farm girl).

Alliance B: Erica (tiara wearer), Sarah (brunette who seemingly won’t admit her crush on Ed), Jamie, Dave (ultimate-fighting newcomer and the only fan left), Nick (personal trainer), and Tony.

Did I really pause the Olympics for this?




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