Justice wasn’t served: Survivor Philippines Episode 12

5 Dec

OK, guess who am I imitating: “I’m not sure I’m cut out for this game, it’s too tough for me because I’m just too virtuous, trust trust trust, blah blah blah, and I’ll repeat that 10 times a day every day.”

That’s right, it’s Lisa Whelchel (though nobody’s forcing the producers to keep using her stock lines over and over). All of this is really getting annoying, and her gameplay has not been great. She even starts this episode by admitting “Going to the end with Malcolm and Denise is not a great strategy,” though that true statement should have kept her from voting Penner out the week before.

Cue a visit from the loved ones, an annual segment I dislike. And I think the main reason I dislike it is because we viewers spend an entire season getting to know a cast of characters (who are chosen for their entertainment value) and yet for one episode a year they have to share the stage with some unfamiliar and invariably less interesting people.

One of the rare exceptions was the notorious and ridiculous “She died, dude” from Survivor: Pearl Islands. Now, last week’s “coming soon” previews hinted that Malcolm’s brother might provide that kind of entertainment value, which was not the case. However, Lisa’s much younger brother, whose name is Justice, did have an impact. Upon being briefed on the situation he asks Lisa and Skupin “Why don’t you guys vote out Malcolm then?” Lisa finds the idea genius (though that light didn’t go on when Penner was saying the same thing) and decides then and there that yes, she and Skupin will blindside Malcolm, knowing that Abi and Carter will surely join in.

Unfortunately for that plan, Malcolm wins immunity. So not only is he assured of making the final five, next week he can play his idol (that being the last week he can do so) and is therefore sure of making the final four.

Back at camp, Skupin tells Lisa (I’m paraphrasing) “Malcolm’s out so who should we vote for, Abi or Carter?” Hmm, what about Denise? Her name does not even come up, which makes me question Skupin and Lisa’s gameplaying acumen even more than before. Meanwhile, Carter politely points out to everyone that since lots of lip service has been paid to taking the best players to the end,  he should stick around instead of Abi-Maria. Abi probably should be saying “keep me for another round, Carter is a threat,” but instead she makes a strong case for letting her go by being her usual abrasive self …or as Denise describes her, a “histrionic, dramatic, passive-aggressive martyr.”

The tribe goes to tribal council, the most entertaining moment of which is Penner’s entrance: far from being clean shaven and sporting new clothes as jury members are wont to do, he has neither shaved nor removed the scuzzy t-shirt and hat he wore during the game. After some uneventful discussion, Carter is voted out. Then we come to a commercial break featuring Natalie Portman looking absolutely smokin’ in a Dior ad. An ad that gives her no dialogue… if only George Lucas had done the same in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.

I have had Malcolm #2 behind Denise in my rankings for many weeks because I thought other players would think Malcolm too formidable (especially since he has the idol) and find a way to blindside him by now. That did not happen, and since he has done more in the game than Denise I’m putting him back at #1.

Contender rankings: 1. Malcolm, 2. Denise, 3. Skupin

No-chance list: Abi-Maria, Lisa

Jury and who I think they’ll vote for: R.C. (Skupin), Jeff (?), Artis (?), Pete (?), Penner (Skupin), Carter (?)


One Response to “Justice wasn’t served: Survivor Philippines Episode 12”

  1. Wildkatalina December 6, 2012 at 1:09 pm #

    Great blog Barry. Funny and insightful. I have been a Carter fan from the beginning. He approached each task with such…alacrity is the word that keeps popping up. But he was basically a boy, still growing in his early 20’s, and he was starving to death. Physically he may be facing lifetime consequences. And he was bitterly homesick, emotionally unequipped, and he still needed his mother. (Abi didn’t seem too affected) I would love to
    see him back in a few years.
    Some of the younger girls struggle too…hasselbeck’s hair fell out. The snippy little blond from NYC did well, but I believe she may have been the only one whose calorie intake was about the same on Survivor as it was in NY. I remember Jeff saying she was the smallest person who ever played.
    Jason gave me this blog address. I’m off to work, but I plan to read everything!

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