“Suckin’ face again” The Bachelor February 3 2014 recap

4 Feb

Who says nothing ever changes about this show? The first commercial break had all of the ads appearing in a frame of roses, so you know the show at hand is in fact The Bachelor. Super-neat!

Juan Pablo and the gals are now in Vietnam, and the first one-on-one date goes to Renee. The highlight is when they stop in at a dress shop and the Vietnamese lady seems to spend an inordinate amount of time measuring Renee’s boobs. Also, we find out JP is sticking with his no-kissing policy, which oddly enough only applies to some of the women, Renee being one of them.

Clare is not one of them, and on a group date which has everyone pairing up for a ride in unusual circular boats, JP is quick to give his boatmate Clare a little “besito,” and she gets another one in the pool later. Meanwhile, Sharleen the opera singer tells us “I need to believe that he sees me as a panda in a room full of brown bears.” JP kisses her too.

Meanwhile, Andi the DA has been on screen about every five minutes, saying the same thing: that she’s bummed that she hasn’t had a one-on-one date. JP allays her concerns with — you guessed it — a little makeout session. “Next thing you know, suckin’ face again. Sorry mom,” Andi says.

The gals go back to the plush hotel, but Clare takes a page out of the book of Courtney from two seasons ago and looks up JP for a little late-night swim. Scandalous!

The other one-on-one date goes to Nikki the pediatric nurse. We find out she’s not crazy about rappelling, and that’s pretty much it.

Back to Clare: at the cocktail party JP says he’s all about fairness and therefore “maybe it wasn’t right” that they went for a swim. Clare starts crying. My own gal’s comment on all of this was: “Being a whore never pays.”

At the rose ceremony, three girls are sent home: Kelly the dog lover, Alli the nanny who confusingly looks very similar to Andi, and also a black (?) woman named Danielle who only got to say about 10 sentences the entire season. Juan Pablo has tears in his eyes big-time, which is the first time I can recall such a thing happening (at least as early in the season as the round of 8). And Sharleen is bawling too, for reasons unknown.

Now that we’re down to eight, let’s look at the remaining contestants, in order from least likely to win to most:

Chelsie: A pretty girl and a nice person, but I will be shocked if she is not sent home next week.

Cassandra: Wow, does she have the looks, and JP likes the fact that she has a child also, but she is just too young.

Andi: Might have the most personality of anyone left, but I don’t see much of a connection forming here.

Kat: I think JP likes her looks, but I don’t see much more.

Clare: Has certainly been locking lips with JP a lot, but looks like her act might be wearing thin.

Renee: Yes they bond over both being parents, I just don’t know that they have much else.

Sharleen: The fact that she’s so different from every other woman on the show seems to be a turn-on for JP.

Nikki: If her occasional bouts of negativity don’t torpedo things, I still think she’s the most likely to get the final rose.

 

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