“Quality, quality women”: The Bachelor February 17 2014 recap

24 Feb

The bevy of leggy beauties arrives in Miami for more romance with Juan Pablo. And before you can say Dan Marino, the first date card is out and it goes to Sharleen. Alas, the opera singer is “confused” to get it. I’ll tell you who isn’t confused: Bachelor viewers, on the subject of what channel is on the TV. That’s because the first commercial break of the episode is framed with a rose pattern, something we last saw a couple of weeks ago.

Back to Sharleen: all of the girls are somewhat mystified about what her deal is. Chelsie says semi-diplomatically about Sharleen and Juan Pablo, “I can’t figure out how they’re having a relationship.” On the date itself, Sharleen hints that opera singing might not be the top priority in her life. Still, her ambivalence comes across on the date, and when she gets back to the hotel, she seeks out everyone’s mother confessor, Renee. I don’t see too much romance blooming between Renee and Juan Pablo, but Renee certainly makes herself useful as a sounding board. She is like the R.A. of the freshman dorm that is The Bachelor.

An aside: this season there was no dreaded 2-on-1 date all year. Odd that the producers passed up a chance for drama and crying. That’s not like them.

The second individual date goes to Nikki, and it consists of attending the dance recital of J.P.’s daughter, with his parents and the girl’s mother also in attendance. No pressure! After that they head to the Marlins ballpark where J.P. works. We get to see that Nikki has an awful tattoo on the side of her torso.

Meanwhile, Sharleen has decided to say her goodbyes to J.P. and the season. She certainly likes making out with Juan Pablo but “He doesn’t have what I’m looking for in terms of the forever part.” J.P. is bummed that she’s leaving, and tells the camera that she definitely would have been one of the four to get the hometown date.

This late in the season, there are no roses given out on the individual dates (if 3 girls out of 6 had roses, it would make for a short rose ceremony). But there is one to be handed out on the group date. And the girls find out that once the rose is awarded halfway through, only the girl who gets that rose gets to stick around for the second half. That person turns out to be insecure Andi. Much to the chagrin of Clare, who tells the world “I deserve something amazing and wonderful.” Watch it Clare, you’re veering dangerously close to the kind of thing Tierra, villainess of  Sean’s season, would say.

The three gals who are “rejected,” namely Renee, Clare, and Chelsie, mope their way back to the room. Sharleen being gone, only Nikki is there to lend a sympathetic ear. Actually, not so much: as they discuss their woes, Nikki abruptly gets up and leaves. Clare goes upstairs to confront her about this, and Nikki says “I don’t like you, we’re never going to be friends.”

By the way, in the commercial break our local news plugs tonight’s lead story, “What’s being done to protect young models?” Something tells me this is ratings month.

Most of the rest of the show is devoted to the Clare-Nikki feud. Clare tells the camera, “There’s quality, quality women here. We aren’t brats.” Unlike you-know-who. At one point the two are seated next to each other, wordless, with no one else around. The moment is reminiscent of John Cage’s 4:33.

The rose ceremony is notable for having no “final rose” announcement by Chris Harrison! Chelsie is the one sent home, and everyone else gets a hometown date next week.

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