Tag Archives: The Bachelor: Sean’s Season

After the final time-kill: The Bachelor Recap March 11, 2013 (finale of Sean’s season)

12 Mar

Nobody stretches half an hour of content into three hours like The Bachelor. But readers, I fought back, and my weapon of choice was the fast-forward button.

Chris Harrison began the evening by welcoming us to the studio filled with female fans, and before the night was over he even interviewed some of them, bringing him a few precious minutes closer to his three-hour quota.

On to the business at hand: it’s time for Sean’s gabby sister and the rest of the family to meet Catherine and Lindsay. Fairly uneventful stuff but we do see that the hideous top-of-the-foot tattoo that was glimpsed on an earlier show does in fact belong to Lindsay. The Lowes like both gals, but Sean’s mom makes the obvious point that her son doesn’t have to propose to either of them, and if he can’t decide which one he likes better he probably shouldn’t be proposing. It’s sort of like the old football adage “if you have two quarterbacks, you don’t have a quarterback.” Sean says (in so many words) lay off me, Mom.

Then Sean has a date with each of the girls. They’re uneventful except for the fact that Catherine goes on a crying jag after Sean leaves because he isn’t expressing his love for her enough. Now, don’t forget that Catherine went on a crying jag back when Lesley was voted out some weeks ago! The gal cries a fair bit.

This is followed up by a visit from that ring manufacturer and all-around attention whore Neil Lane, making his second appearance of the season. Then we’re back in the studio as Chris interviews some of the former contestants. Lesley looks incredible as always but her go-to “enigmatic/blue steel” look is perhaps getting a bit old, as is her penchant for canned sound bites. Well, she does work in Washington D.C. We also see AshLee who is skeptical about the whole thing and looks less psycho than she did on “The Women Tell All.”

The last three paragraphs of this recap were 90 minutes in real time, mind you! But now it’s time for the final decision. As you may recall from previous seasons, the final two women don’t live together, and don’t know if they’re getting to the site where the Bachelor is before or after the other woman. Of course, the woman who’s being rejected is always the first to arrive at the site. Who will it be? The SUV door opens to reveal… the tattooed foot of Lindsay. She’s wearing really high heels and a dress that reaches to the ground, and she’s walking on gravel, so it takes her quite a while to get to Sean at her snail’s pace. The fact that his face was twisted into a mask of tension might have clued her in. The turn-down is very sad and Sean even says “That’s the hardest part, I love you.” Both are in tears. Amusingly, Lindsay takes off the high heels to walk back to the car.

Then it’s time for something that’s been hyped for weeks… a mysterious personal letter (printed out, not written in longhand, mind you, it’s not that personal). Who could it be from? I guessed that it would either be from AshLee or Desiree or from Sean’s gabby sister, or perhaps even from last year’s Bachelorette Emily. Instead, it’s from Catherine! Is she having second thoughts? No, it’s completely anticlimactic, just basically Catherine saying she’s psyched. What a disappointment! She soon arrives, and the proposal is quite beautiful, and also the Neil Lane logo on the ring box is lit perfectly. Sean and Catherine saddle up on an elephant and ride into the Thai sunset.

Time for After the Final Rose, yes there is still one whole hour to go. Lindsay gets to be reunited with Sean, and of course like all of these girls she wants a specific reason for the breakup, even though Sean simply says that Lindsay is great but he just loved Catherine more. In fact he says it more than once. (Lindsay, if you’re reading this: I think it was the baby voice and the foot tattoo).

Chris Harrison has promised that there is still a blockbuster announcement yet to come. It’s finally time and Sean says that… he and Catherine are going to get married! Er, we already knew you were engaged, bro. Ah, now we get to it: the wedding will be televised on ABC. No big shock there. However, S & C don’t know when all of this is going to be (raised eyebrows all around the audience).

One more blockbuster: the next Bachelorette has to be announced. Well, we’ve seen every main “character” from the season in these three hours with the notable exception of Desiree. So it’s no huge shock when they announce that the Bachelorette will be Desiree. I like the choice. Mere months from now we’ll see a crop of dudes torn between her incredible face and body and her equally incredible (in a bad way) brother.

All in all, Sean was a way better Bachelor than his two immediate predecessors, Brad the Austin bar owner and California winemaker Ben. I have to say I’m not convinced that he and Catherine will live happily ever after. Sean, if I see you around Dallas I’ll buy you a beer, bro.


The Women Tell All: The Bachelor March 4 2013 recap

4 Mar

Hey readers: remember when you told me this wasn’t just the best blog about reality TV, but the best website on the entire Internet? And that you would gladly pay hundreds of dollars per blog entry if it were a pay site? Wait, how can you say you never said that? You’re making me look like I’m making things up. Readers, come on! You said it. You really did. I heard you. How can you say you didn’t? I triple guarantee you.

Yes, that was my nod to AshLee’s antics on this show. But let’s take it from the top. A bevy of beauties is on hand, but I must say 80% of them are long since forgotten which means the camera is usually on Lesley. Not that I will complain about that for one single second. When it’s not on Lesley it’s on Chris, and partially on the first row of spectators in which sits a lady in pink who has epically huge boobs. Either she gets cast for next season or at the very least, the producers are hiring her tailor.

In the early going not much happens, so the subject of Tierra is brought up fairly quickly. Brooke (the black community organizer) tells the girls that they’re just bitter that they didn’t have the idea of faking injuries to gain attention the way Tierra did. We go to commercial with the promise that Tierra will be out to be interviewed next. We come back from commercial and see … some stagehand briefing Tierra on how to walk to the couch? This was a new “behind the curtain” twist that hadn’t been used before. Tierra comes out, and if you want to know what polite applause sounds like, you should listen to those few seconds. She is her same old self: “When I walk into a room I bring this joy,” etc. etc. But guess what, she’s engaged, to an old flame she reconnected with.

Thereafter, Sarah (one arm) and Desiree (Katie Holmes-type with the trailer park brother) get their moments on the couch… or are these their auditions to be the next Bachelorette? AshLee gets her turn as well.

Now Sean comes out and AshLee returns to the couch. This is the woman who didn’t want to say a word to him when she didn’t get a rose. Now she wants answers about what happened. As Kacie who is sitting in the second row knows, this conversation cannot go well, because there is an obvious answer: the guy liked someone else more. Sean answers this as diplomatically as possible, but now AshLee wants to take him to task for not calling her later to check on her. Ummm, AshLee, you’re the one who didn’t want to talk at all when he was begging to explain himself, right? And gave him the ultra-evil eye when you didn’t get a rose? Even the crowd of sympathetic women doesn’t think much of AshLee’s idea.

So now AshLee tries a Hail Mary pass: “Why did you say you had absolutely no feelings for them?” [meaning Catherine and Lindsay]. Cut to some women in the crowd who think this makes the Dreyfus affair look inconsequential.

Sean says he never said anything of the sort, so AshLee regroups and says what he actually said was “There’s absolutely nothing between those two.” Of course the latter sentence makes no sense, and why would Sean say the former? At the very least Lindsay and Catherine were 2 of his top 3 favorites of 20-plus beautiful women. AshLee keeps insisting he said it. It reminds me of the early-70s song “Don’t Say You Don’t Remember” (which AshLee may well be old enough to remember, zing!). Sean very politely denies he said any such thing. It’s silent in the studio and many a pin can be heard to drop. Commercial. Then as we come back (once again before anyone says “Action”) and stagehands bustle about, we see that Sean and AshLee are still discussing this amongst themselves, with her saying 10 more times that he said it. Chris asks for a final word and Sean diplomatically says that if any other thing he said hurt AshLee he’s sorry. No doubt he’s congratulating himself on his decision now that we see how psycho AshLee is.

After all of this not much else happens except that Sean exchanges some words with Desiree as well. She was my pick to win, of course, and I still think he has more chemistry with her than with the two finalists. Damn you, redneck brother!




Hashtag heartbreak: The Bachelor February 25 2013 recap

26 Feb

In the midst of the romantic Thailand dates on this episode, the producers felt the need to put a bunch of tweets about “The Bachelor” on-screen. I really hate to say it but… these tweets really were more interesting than the dates! A very bad sign.

This week Sean was down to the final three, which means it’s the “fantasy suite” week in which each girl can choose to forgo her individual room to spend the night as a couple in the fantasy suite. My pre-show thought was that Catherine and Lindsay were dead-solid locks to choose the fantasy suite, and I put AshLee’s chances at about 95%.

Lindsay the general’s daughter got the first date, which started with a golf-cart-like vehicle called a sambo (???) pulling up. And not just any sambo but one with a camera mounted inside the roof. She and Sean stroll through a market. Sean decides it’s a good time to make Lindsay confront her greatest fear and eat a dead bug. Is Sean a bit of a sadist? Then the two of them go to a beach where a bunch of monkeys come up and swipe food out of their hands. This part was incredibly entertaining, they should make this into its own show. Or maybe even its own channel? Less entertainingly, Lindsay says yes to the fantasy suite. (A blogger named Jen Frase has said before that every time there’s a fantasy suite she pictures Chris Harrison under the bed masturbating.)

AshLee’s turn. Yet again, instead of just taking his gal to dinner and a movie, Sean gets his jollies by making her confront one of her greatest fears. They have to swim through a dark, scary, and very cramped cave (aided only by an inner tube that has a light and a camera on it). They come out in a spectacular cove that looks like Scaramanga’s hideout in “The Man With the Golden Gun.” Later at the romantic dinner, the topic of the fantasy suite draws ever nearer, and Sean tells the camera,”What I would love is to stay up all night with her, just talking.” Fathers everywhere are shuddering at the thought of their daughters falling for that line. Soon thereafter we see the best tweet of the night: “The Fantasy Suite is the combine before the draft.” AshLee says yes to the fantasy suite, but also gives Sean info on what kind of ring she would want and what her ring size is. It’s a shame she didn’t say her favorite jeweler is Neil Lane, since that’s what Bachelor gals get regardless.

Catherine gets the third date, and mentions a couple of times that this hunk is out of her league. Sean apparently remembered at this point that he was on The Bachelor, not Fear Factor, and didn’t put Catherine through anything more than some splashing around in the water and good conversation. You’ll recall Catherine is the one who told him “I like the beef” at one of their first conversations, so unsurprisingly she’s 100% up for the fantasy suite.

Three dates down, yet the show is 37 minutes from being over. How to pass the time? Well, a Chris Harrison-hosted infomercial for the new Oz movie accounts for part of that. Finally we get to the rose ceremony. The first rose goes to Lindsay (who surely will be the winner now) and… Catherine. And AshLee is more mad than sad. She tells Sean “just stay here” as she heads for the exit van. Finally she agrees to listen to his explanations for a minute, but she just wants out of there. A very sad moment, but I have to say I did not see much chemistry between her and Sean at any point.

It’s not you, it’s me… actually, it’s him. The Bachelor February 18 2013 recap

18 Feb

Time for trips to all four remaining contestants’ hometowns, presented in reverse order of drama. I don’t believe for a second that they really took place in the order shown, as that would require going from Houston to Seattle, then back to Missouri before going back to Los Angeles (?).

Anyway, we begin in Houston with AshLee, or as Tierra dismissively called the 32-year-old, “the cougar” (perhaps that was just a nod to the sports teams at U of H?). AshLee and Sean enjoy a picnic, and what more romantic spot for a picnic is there than…. a vacant lot in some neighborhood? Anyway, it turns out both of their fathers are pastors, and Sean’s visit turns out to be a low-drama affair, which is why it takes up just 18 minutes of the 2-hour show.

On to Seattle, where Sean meets Catherine at the famous Pike Place Market. There’s a booth where guys yell crazy things as they throw fish around, and Catherine loves the idea of joining in the fish-tossing… as long as Sean is the one doing it. When she is put on the spot to try herself, she half-asses it. When the two take a break thereafter, the question of Catherine’s ethnicity is clarified to the viewers: she’s Filipino. We go to her mother’s house and get to know Catherine’s older sisters, who are very hot and say “like” just as much as Catherine does. The food being dished up looks delicious too.

For Lindsay’s date it’s off to Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. Sean ends up doing pushups before the date is done… between this season and The Bachelorette, ths guy has done enough pushups to put Jack Lalanne to shame! Sean is a bit nervous about meeting Lindsay’s father, the two-star general (and yes, a two-star general is the same thing as a major general).  But not only is Pops a seriously affable dude, he is even fairly quick to give his blessing to a possible marriage!

OK, now it’s time for the visit to Desiree in LA. No sooner is she showing Sean around her pad than there’s a knock on the door and a jerky guy shows up wanting to speak to Des. Obviously an ex-boyfriend, he tells Des he loves her, and he’s fairly rude to Sean. “Now that he’s here I do have to tell you something,” Des sez. As we cut to commercial I smelled a rat and I’ll tell you why: no way there’s a dramatic confrontational moment that hasn’t been plugged in promo after promo. When we’re back from the break, Des fesses up: it’s a prank and the douchebag is actually an actor. Smiles all around.

Then it’s time to meet the parents and brother Nate, he of the tatted-up hands and 99-cent haircut. Nate pulls Sean aside in the middle of dinner and says how he really feels: Des may be in love, but Sean’s not reciprocating. “I think you’re just a playboy,” Nate says. When they get back to the table the tension is thick, the evening is ruined, and Des’ tears are flowing.

Now, Nate seems like an awful guy, but I picked Desiree to win this thing right from the start, and haven’t changed my mind that she seems to have the most chemistry with Sean. I would even say it’s by a wide margin…  I just can’t see him with AshLee, Lindsay, or Catherine. But when Sean talks to Chris before the rose ceremony, he admits either Catherine (who he thinks may be a bit too free-spirited) or Des will be going home.

Time for the most dramatic rose ceremony…ever.

Just before Sean hands out the first rose, Desiree asks to speak to him in private. She apologizes for Nate’s behavior the previous night. Sean goes back in and hands out two roses to AshLee and Lindsay, but then he has to leave and go ponder some more. You can almost see the thought balloon above his head: having to buy Nate a gift every Christmas… Nate looking on disapprovingly when he carves the Thanksgiving turkey… heck, maybe even Nate poisoning the roots of the trees he plants on Arbor Day. He can’t take it, and Desiree is the one sent home. She says he’s making a mistake and I think I agree.

“Let me introduce you to our EMT”: The Bachelor February 5 2013 recap

12 Feb

Alas, I’m an entire week behind, but I would not want to gloss over the two hours from last Tuesday in which “the two-night event concludes.”

The scene is Banff, Canada. And Catherine awaits her one-on-one date with Sean. The producers apparently had no problem sending her into the freezing cold wearing a light jacket and no hat! After letting her shiver a bit, Sean motors up at the wheel of a huge “snow bus,” but the really good news is that he has brought a snowsuit for her. Apparently Catherine has some sort of bus driver fantasy, as she seems majorly turned on by the whole thing.

When the evening rolls around, it’s time for a romantic carriage ride — and again they don’t give her much to wear, while Sean has a nice warm scarf! The carriage takes them to nothing less than a specially made ice castle…. groan. This thing looks like it took 10 skilled artisans a month to make.

Cut to the spectacular hotel in Banff, where the group date card is read out, and it becomes apparent that Desiree will get the one-on-one date and Daniella and Tierra will have to keep waiting for their first one-on-one. The women arguably look even more amazing in sweaters than they did in bikinis.

Back to Catherine, and time for her to “open up”: it seems that when she was 12 she saw another girl die by having a tree fall on her (through no fault of Catherine’s).

She and Sean close in for a kiss, and I couldn’t help but notice that Sean’s nose is running BIG time. Now, whipping out a Kleenex and blowing your nose is not the most romantic thing in the world, but Sean, I have to say it beats the alternative, bro. Remember that next time.

The group date begins, and Sean and the girls have to paddle canoes across Lake Louise. Yes, that’s right: Sarah the girl with only one arm now has had to paddle a canoe for the second consecutive episode! Once everyone gets to the other side, Sean challenges the girls to join him by taking the “Polar Bear Plunge” and totally immersing themselves in the near-freezing water. I’ll tell you what, any finishing school headmistress would approve of the forced smiles the gals somehow managed to keep on their faces. It’s not exactly encouraging when Sean then introduces an EMT and a lifeguard (the latter looks like a nerdy version of Andy Dalton) to talk about all of the dangers.

Remember, these are girls who couldn’t roller-skate without getting hurt. Did the producers really think this through? The gals disrobe, all feeling peer pressure to participate, except for Selma who values her life more (I think Selma may have made the best decision). We see a quick glimpse of a godawful tattoo on the top of someone’s foot, but can’t see whose it is. Then they make the girls stand around in robes for a really long time, jeez producers! Cue AshLee and the most sobering blanket statement of the day: “No one’s ever in my life made me want to do something for them.”

Now the action comes thick and fast. Sean and all the girls except Selma shuck their robes to reveal swimsuits and take the plunge, and everyone gets right back out and cheers, except Tierra who acts like she’s dying. They put her on a stretcher and carry her all the way around the lake, then bundle her into a car. Then it gets confusing: did they just circle the circular driveway one time and let her back out? We soon see Tierra with a Starbucks cup and mascara running, saying “I miss time with him.”

All and all it was amazing and the experience of a lifetime… but enough about seeing Lesley in a bikini.

The general consensus is that Tierra was faking to gain sympathy. For the second week in a row she tries to crash the group date, though this time the other girls are still there when she arrives. The pity quest only goes so far though, as Lesley gets the rose.

Later that night, Sean realizes that he is not “feeling it” with Sarah (the girl with one arm), and he wants to do her a favor by not keeping her in suspense for two more days. So he sends her home. I had a couple of witty quips all ready for this eventuality, but as it turns out it’s one of the most heartbreaking moments since I’ve been watching the show.

Don’t put the Kleenex away too fast, Bachelor fans. Desiree, now on her second one-on-one date and still the favorite to win, is ready to open up too, namely about having lived in a tent at the trailer park for months at a time when she was a child. I think I might hear the peal of wedding bells for Sean and Des.

Cocktail party: Selma decides, traditional Iraqi family be damned, it’s time to kiss Sean. Only one problem from my point of view: when the light hits her a certain way she looks like Michael Jackson, circa Dangerous album. That’s a romance killer.

By the way, can any of these girls say a sentence without using the word “like”? Any sentence? Case in point is AshLee opening up by saying “I, like, adore you.”

Despite Sarah’s ouster Sean has two more girls to cut. He decides Selma, if not exactly Dangerous, is no Thriller, and Daniella is left without a rose as well. Poor Daniella, how will she ever get a man interested now? Oh wait, she’s 24 and a knockout. I think she’ll recover.

Montana to (wedding) rice?: The Bachelor February 4 2013 recap

8 Feb

Alas, your faithful correspondent has gotten behind on his blog: this Dallas guy spent last weekend having a wonderful romance at a spectacular lodge in the mountains. Back home, and it’s time to watch a Dallas guy have some fake romances at a spectacular lodge in the mountains. This week brought a staggering four hours of “Bachelor,” so let’s start by covering the first two, shall we?

The one-on-one date for the week in Montana goes to general’s daughter Lindsay, and befitting the military theme, she and Sean get into a helicopter that has a bit of a Black Hawk Down vibe. Will their date be as disastrous at the U.S. engagement in Somalia? Or will I feel like Blue Thunder’s JAFO watching it? Neither, as it turns out, though when Lindsay’s gone Sean does psychoanalyze her father issues a bit. Also, I don’t think he’s feelin’ it.

We soon find out there will also be a group date as well as the season’s dreaded two-on-one, the latter to involve Jackie and Tierra (who seems more Sarah Palin-like each week). Tierra insists that the two-on-one is her dream while the other girls maintain that’s impossible. Tierra soon switches to saying it’s her nightmare.

Time for the group date, and a challenge that seems more appropriate for one of the “Real World/Road Rules Challenges,” involving paddling a canoe, carrying some hay, and milking a goat. The potential double-entendres on the latter part quickly become clear, and Selma, who wouldn’t let Sean kiss her for fear of causing controversy in her conservative culture, has no problem pantomiming a certain jerking motion as the goat-milking is discussed. The red team wins and the four losing girls are sent back to the hotel, but Sean reconsiders and summons them back, meaning that Desiree drank warm goat’s milk for nothing. Blecch. Naturally the four girls on the winning team are furious that they have to split time with their favorite hunk eight ways.

Meanwhile Tierra hasn’t been on camera for a solid five minutes, and she’s not one to take that sitting down. So she crashes the party (the editing makes it seem like this happens while the other girls are still there, but it seems pretty obvious that it actually happened after they were gone). “This is so bold for me to do,” she is sure to mention a couple of times.

We move on to the usual conflict as one woman tries to cut in even though another one has only been with Sean for a few seconds. In the seasons I have watched this show, never once has one of the Bachelors said “Hey sweetheart, be with you in 5 minutes, I just sat down with this other girl.” Why is that exactly?

By the way, early in the show a “coming up” teaser tells us that the scene we saw in last week’s teaser of Tierra fleeing something in terror in a snowy region (a Yeti?) is actually part of Tuesday‘s episode. Thanks a lot, that tells us Tierra will still be around tomorrow, and removes what little drama there was in the Jackie-and-Tierra two-on-one date this week.

After perhaps an hour of hand-wringing by, involving, or about Tierra, the show comes to an end with Robyn being ousted. Was this the Rooney Rule of love?

The other girls have very long faces after this result.

“He took the Iraqi to a desert”: The Bachelor 1/28/13 recap

28 Jan

The good news is, we begin this episode with many lingering shots of a rear end. Alas, it’s not one of the ridiculously fit ladies getting these closeups, but rather Sean. Hey, everyone’s favorite guy has a date to get ready for, namely a rock climbing date with Selma somewhere in the desert. Afterwards when it’s time for dinner they journey to an odd “upscale trailer park” or as Selma dubs it “country glam.” Too cute by half.

The group date promises more entertainment: it’s a roller derby challenge! As the eight girls file in they find some seasoned roller derby players doing their thing to show how it’s done, and one of the women greets our love-seeking friends. I’m trying to think of something less attractive than a woman who plays roller derby, and failing. These gals do not look anything like Raquel Welch in “Kansas City Bomber,” believe you me.

Drama quickly ensues. Part of roller-skating, especially if you’re not used to it, is holding out your arms to balance, which is a problem if you only have one arm like Sarah does. AshLee comforts her. Then Amanda (the “butterface” brunette), who’s the best skater of any of them, takes a nasty spill and there’s some thought that she might have broken her jaw. After the paramedics take her away, Sean tells the remaining gals, hey, instead of two teams of girls facing off, let’s all just have a free skate! Yay Sean! Or more accurately, yay ABC lawyers fretting about liability issues!

Now then: how can you possibly spend hours roller skating and not do the hokey pokey at any point? Hmm, I guess a roller derby track is different than a roller rink. Bummer. I like the hokey pokey. However, while Sean and the fillies do their free skate the producers do play the lovely and underrated 80s ballad “Foolish Heart” by Steve Perry. An excellent choice!

Time for dinner and drinks after all of that fun. Alas, Tierra is more interested in a round of sulking, but does say she doesn’t want to get a rose out of pity. Amanda comes back from the hospital no worse for wear. Tierra could hardly accuse Amanda of exaggerating an injury to gain sympathy and extra time with Sean, seeing as how Tierra used that exact tactic just one short week ago. Tierra melts down anyway and threatens to go. Meanwhile Lindsay is locking lips with the Seanster and spontaneously suggests a dip in the pool, as they sit there with him in a suit and her in a formal dress. Cut to the two of them heading for the pool wearing bathing suits that materialized as if by magic. However Tierra is sulking in the stairwell, and Sean goes to comfort her as bikini-clad Lindsay and her 2 ounces of body fat slink away. When all is said and done, Sean offers Tierra a rose out of pity, and  luckily she has changed her policy on such pity roses in the meantime.

The second solo date of the episode goes to Leslie the black poker dealer. Leslie is goofy and fun, and says “holy moley” about 5 times in half an hour, sometimes turning it into “holy moley Batman.” I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and say that Sean’s handsomeness had her so out of sorts that she simply forgot that holy moley is not a catchphrase of Robin, but rather Captain Marvel. Her date involves shopping on Rodeo Drive, and Sean acts like nothing can be more fun than sitting in a store while a woman tries on tons of clothes. Of course that attention hog Neil Lane has to get into the mix. It seems the ringmaster has a convenient Rodeo Drive location, and has evidently decided that one annual appearance on this show, plus every Bachelorette,  reunion show, Ashley and JP’s wedding, etc. is not enough to get his message out there.

And the fantasy date is rounded out by… Leslie getting sent home because Sean’s not feelin’ it. She even has to give the Neil Lane necklace back, but apparently gets to keep her other  purchases. This triggers the obligatory scene where the girls back at the house are horrified to see some flunky walk into the house and take Leslie’s luggage away. The idea that one bag can have all of a woman’s clothes for not just a month-long show, but a month-long show where no outfit is never worn more than once, strains credibility. And this bag especially so: for that to be Leslie’s complete luggage it would have to have the physical properties of Dr. Who’s TARDIS.

Cocktail party time. You might recall this season began with four sistas among the cast. Robyn (the failed somersaulter) is the only black woman left, and for the second week in a row, she plays the romantic race card, asking Sean “Do you like the taste of chocolate?” (The double entendres on this show are not likely to go over anyone’s head.) In other news, Tierra tries to mend some fences while using the expression “your bad” (i.e. the opposite of “my bad”). Also,  Amanda fails to get a rose and goes home to her puzzling career of “fit model”. In the preview for next week find out that there will be two two-hour episodes on consecutive days, and also that everyone will be in some cold-weather climate where Tierra will have cause to flee something with an expression of sheer terror on her face. The Yeti perhaps?

Time to break down odds on the 11 remaining contestants.

Jackie 200:1 She’s cute, but have she and Sean even met yet this season?

Daniella 100:1 Quite a striking blonde in her own right, but the fact that we never see her talking to Sean leads me to believe there’s not much chemistry.

Lindsay 20:1 Cute but I could see her being ever so slightly psycho.

Selma 20:1 The fake-boobed Iraqi’s charms don’t really translate to the screen but Sean seems to be feeling it somewhat.

Robyn 15:1 Goofily endearing, but that probably won’t be enough with the likes of Lesley and Desiree in the room.

Sarah 15:1 Sean isn’t bothered that she has only one arm, but I don’t see many sparks flying either.

AshLee 15:1 Sean certainly whispered some sweet nothings to the over-30 personal organizer.

Catherine 12:1 An Asian or Polyniesian-looking graphic designer who is pretty darn hot and has decent chemistry with Sean, it seems.

Tierra 12:1 No doubt the producers are praying that she sticks around to continue mixing things up.

Lesley 4:1 Absurdly hot when she doesn’t have Tammy Bakker doing her makeup like she did tonight.

Desiree 3:1 The Katie Holmes lookalike may well have Sean jumping on Oprah’s couch before all is said and done.